✉Email texts that get read

The subject line has a single job: say what it is about — not make people curious.

What works:

• Concrete and short. Under 50 characters, otherwise it gets cut off on a mobile phone.
• The occasion, if there is one: “Question about your tender for project management”.
• A name, if it means something: “Recommended by Mr Krause”.

What does not work:

• Advertising language. “Your chance”, “exclusive”, “secure it now” — those are the words spam filters look for.
• Exclamation marks. One is enough to spoil the impression.
• Everything in capitals.
• Faking “RE:” or “FW:”. That is a deception, and the recipient notices it.

The test: would you open this email if it came from a stranger?

With the reason you are writing — not with yourself.

Bad: “My name is Anna Beispiel, I am managing director of Nordwind GmbH, we have been active since 1998 in the field of …”

Good: “You are looking for a project manager for the plant extension in Chemnitz. I have supported three comparable projects.”

The difference: the second sentence shows that you have looked into the recipient. The first only shows that you are sending a form letter.

The first two lines are decisive — they are what appears in the preview of the email program before anyone opens the message. Write them last and with the most care.

And leave out “I hope this email finds you well”. Everyone writes it, and everyone knows it is not meant.

Shorter than you think. As a guide: 80 to 150 words for a first approach. That is five to eight sentences.

The reason is not impatience but the device: most business emails are first looked at on a mobile phone. Anything that needs more than one screen height there gets put off until “later”, and later never comes.

The structure that fits this length:

1. Why I am writing (one sentence).
2. What I am offering or asking (two or three sentences).
3. What the next step would be (one sentence).

Everything else you want to say belongs in the conversation — not in the email that is meant to lead to it.

When following up, it gets even shorter: three sentences are enough.

Four parts, in this order:

1. Connection. Why this particular recipient — a tender, a referral, something in common.
2. Offer. What you can do, in one sentence, with evidence. Not “many years of experience”, but “three comparable projects, most recently at a supplier with 200 employees”.
3. Benefit. What the recipient gains from it.
4. Next step. A single, small question.

The fourth point is where most people fail. “Get in touch if you are interested” is not a step. “Would a short call on Thursday morning suit you?” is one — it can be answered with yes or no.

Ask small. Someone who does not know anything about you yet will not agree to a two-hour meeting.

With one question that is small enough to be answered with yes.

Good: - “Would a short call next week be possible?” - “Shall I send you two references?” - “Does Thursday at 10 o’clock suit you?”

Bad: - “If you are interested, feel free to get in touch.” (no step) - “I look forward to hearing from you.” (no step) - “Let us talk about your requirements, your budget and your schedule.” (too big)

Two questions are one too many. Anyone asked to choose between two options often chooses neither.

And below that: a signature with name, phone number and company. In business emails, the required details of your company belong there.

Personal enough not to seem like a mass email, and honest enough not to pretend it is not one.

What placeholders do: salutation, name, company. That is the basic equipment and is only noticed when it is missing.

What really works is a genuine connection: the tender you are referring to; the location; the industry. That is exactly what categories and campaigns in stages are for — an email to twenty recipients in the same industry can be concrete, one to two thousand cannot.

What does not work: artificial closeness. “Dear Mr Krause, how lovely to hear from you again” to someone you have never heard from is not personalisation but a claim.

Rule of thumb: rather smaller groups with more concrete texts than one large group with a general one.

Several. The effort is smaller than it looks, and the difference in the result is greater.

The reason: a text that is supposed to suit craft businesses, clinics and tax advisers at the same time suits none of them. It becomes general — and general emails get deleted.

In practice:

• Two to four versions are almost always enough.
• The framework stays the same, only two or three sentences change: the connection, the example, the benefit.
• Duplicating the template and adjusting it takes ten minutes.

How to recognise the right groups: if while writing you think “with them it is actually different”, then it is a group of its own.

Short and without reproach. Three sentences:

1. Reference to the first email — in half a sentence, not as a quotation.
2. A new thought. Something that was not in the first email.
3. The same small question.

The second point is the decisive one. A follow-up email that only says “I just wanted to check in again” gives the recipient no reason to reply now if they did not do so the first time.

What you should not write:

• “Unfortunately I have not heard from you yet.” That sounds like a reproach.
• “My email must have got lost.” Presumptuous.
• The complete first email underneath. Makes it twice as long.

And: two follow-ups are enough. Anyone who does not reply three times will not reply the fourth time either.

Those that sound like advertising — they cost attention and increase the likelihood of ending up in spam:

• “Free”, “free of charge”, “no obligation”, “exclusive”, “unique”
• “Now”, “immediately”, “today only”
• “Your chance”, “competitive advantage”, “guaranteed success”
• Exclamation marks, more than one in the whole text
• Capitals for emphasis
• Large, coloured type

Plus the ones about content:

• “We are the leading provider” — everyone claims that.
• “Tailored solutions” — says nothing.
• “I would be happy to present our portfolio” — the recipient does not want a portfolio, but an answer to their problem.

The simplest test: read the email aloud. Wherever you would not listen to yourself, cut it.

For a first approach: no. A plain text email comes across as a personal message; a designed one as a newsletter, and nobody reads newsletters from strangers.

In addition: images and elaborate HTML increase the likelihood of ending up in spam, and many email programs do not load images in the first place.

For newsletters to people who have consented, design is fine — it is expected there.

The rule of thumb:

• Acquisition: plain, like an email from a colleague.
• Newsletter: may be designed, but must remain readable without images.

A logo in the signature is neither — that is customary and fine.

With the name, where you have it. “Dear Mr Krause” is the standard in business correspondence and wrong in no industry.

If the name is missing:

• Not “Dear Sir or Madam” to a personal address. That shows you do not know whom you are writing to.
• Better: find out the name. With a manageable list, the effort is worth it; it is the difference between an email and a circular.
• If it really cannot be done, a general salutation to a general address (info@) is fine.

What you absolutely must check: that the placeholder is filled. “Dear ,” is the mistake that devalues any email immediately — that is why there is the test mail and the check of the recipient list.

The same required details as a business letter — they apply to emails in exactly the same way:

• Company name in its full, registered form with the legal form.
• Address.
• Register court and register number, if registered.
• Persons authorised to represent the company (managing directors, board).

This belongs in the signature, not in the text. For advertising emails, there is also:

• An unsubscribe option, easy to recognise and without having to sign in.
• No disguised sender. The sender name and address must make it clear who is writing.

Aurora Hive Sales sets the signature and the unsubscribe link; check once in a test mail that both are there and correct.

In this order:

1. Preview with a real contact. Look at how the email appears for a particular recipient — with their data in the placeholders.
2. Test mail to yourself, to an address you do not otherwise use.
3. Read it on a mobile phone. Not on the computer. There you see what your recipients see.
4. Read it aloud. That finds the places where it sticks.
5. Have someone else read it who did not write the text.

What to look for on the mobile phone: how much can you see without scrolling? Is the first line the one that convinces? Can the phone number be tapped?

And a look into the spam folder of the test address. If your own test mail lands there, the others will land there too.

By the replies, not by opens — those are deliberately not measured here.

What you can observe:

• Reply rate. With cold outreach, one to five per cent is usual; with warm contacts considerably more.
• Kind of replies. Ten refusals are better than no replies at all: they show that the email has been read and the text understood.
• Unsubscribes. An upward spike means the tone did not fit.

If you want to compare two versions: change one thing, not three. Subject line or opening or closing question. Otherwise you will not know afterwards what had the effect.

And give a version enough recipients. With twenty emails, every difference is chance.

As a rough draft yes, as the final result no — and the reason is a practical one: AI texts sound like AI texts, and recipients now recognise that.

How to recognise them: perfectly built sentences without rough edges, lists of three, phrases like “in today’s fast-paced business world”, lots of affirmation, little that is concrete.

What they are good for:

• A rough draft that you rewrite.
• Shortening a text of your own that is too long.
• Variants of a subject line to choose from.

How to turn it into a usable text: cut everything general and put in concrete things from your business — figures, places, names, examples. What remains is usually a third, and that is the good part.

In a first business contact: the formal address (Sie). That is the standard in Germany, and using it is never wrong.

Use the informal address (du) only if:

• your industry uses it throughout (creative industries, sport, parts of IT),
• you know the person and are already on first-name terms,
• all your external communication is informal.

What does not work: switching. Neither within one email nor between the stages of a campaign. Check this explicitly if you have copied templates or taken them over from someone else — that is where the mistake usually lies.

For campaigns to mixed recipients: formal. Anyone who wants to be addressed informally will say so; anyone who wants to be addressed formally will say nothing and be annoyed.

No. An attachment in an unexpected email from a stranger is not opened, and it increases the likelihood that the whole email is sorted out.

What to do instead:

• A link to a page where the document is. The recipient decides whether to look.
• Offer instead of sending. “Shall I send you the list of references?” is a step that leads to a reply.

Attachments are right when they are expected: a requested document, a quote, a contract, a profile someone asked for.

And if you do attach one: PDF, under 15 MB, with a file name that can be read. Not “Document_final_v3_new.pdf”.